I have been especially proud of myself for holding up so well with Patrick's very crazy and unpredictable work schedule. I tell people that it's no big deal, grad school prepped me for this and I really have a lot of projects to keep my busy.
Today I realized that I am freaking out, just not in the feminine overly emotional whining way that I tend use. I am making it through the day with a list of promises and rewards I get to have when the kids go to sleep. Treats, tv, movies, books, time to be still and let the house lie. But an entire week of this ME therapy hasn't improved my freak out one bit!
I'd love to call in a part time nanny a few hours a week to give me a break. I'd love to not have to do the bed, bath, sleep routine by myself 6 days a week. But I signed up for this as much as Patrick did. And the cash flow is all directed to the happy little home, so no nanny for me.
So, I have to have a plan to enjoy every day, every day, and to stop self medicating with selfishness every day. This week I am going to find ways to serve others and forget myself. I am going to make a list of others I know who need a little pick me up and give them one. I will spend one hour each day indexing family history names. I am going to be 100% prepared for my Sunday lessons. And I am going to let a new friend watch my kids for a few hours so that I can enjoy a bit of myself during the fresh part of my day.
But this doesn't start until Monday, so I am going to have one last night of really good wallowing, helped out by hot gooey chocolate chip cookies and a chick flick!
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2 comments:
you need some girlfriends who have husbands with normal schedules! than invite them all over once their kids go to bed (and yours) for a movie night/ craft night/ junk food talk night. i loved that other people were available to hang out at night and leave the dads with the kids.
find a social sister in RS you like and she will have the invite hook-up and then you have a weekly or bi-weekly hang out group!
Take some Liz time.And it's okay not to make the beds, do the dishes on schedule. ONe of my friends hangs out in pj's all day on 1 of her dayd' off. She reads, watches movies, doesn't worry about her hair, make-up or anything. Just chills!!!
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